YOUTH AND GENDER NETWORK

Hi there. If there is any emotion that eats deeply into the hearts of most humans, it is the emotion of jealousy and envy. This emotion may appear ordinary, even insignificant, but it is something that has the capability of wrecking the human heart and destroying the body like a cancerous growth. The New Webster's dictionary defines jealousy as 'a state of fear, suspicion or envy caused by a real or imagined threat or challenge to one's possessive instincts. It may be provoked by rivalry, especially in sexual love, by competition or by desires for the qualities or possessions of another'.

Permit me to assert that every human being has a streak of jealously. Let me further profess that jealousy is an inherent human trait. Did I hear someone scream not me? Lets quit pretending and get real okay? I dare to say without a shadow of doubt, that at some point in time or the other, we all have had a stint of jealousy in our hearts. The only difference perhaps, in individuals' experiences of this emotion, is the degree or level at which the jealousy feelings manifested.

There are people whose jealousy instincts are simply phenomenal. Like every human emotion, jealousy is something that can be controlled, checked and put in proper perspective. If left untamed, jealousy can steal your joy, rob you of your peace and ultimately kill you. God forbid! Sincerely speaking, jealousy can become an obsession which possesses the human mind, intoxicates it, and controls it like a lunatic fit.

One major reason why people feel jealous is because of insecurity. Yes, when you are insecure and uncertain about your self, there is that tendency to become unduly jealous and envious of others. For example, there are people who feel deflated, angry and inferior when they meet people whom they perceive as being better looking, wealthier, more successful, more intelligent or more popular than themselves. But you need not feel that way because every human being has his or her own unique endowment. What you need is a healthy self-esteem so that you can stand tall and confident any day, anytime, irrespective of whomsoever you meet in the course of living.

Another reason why people are unduly jealous is because of fear. This emotion could manifest in certain relationships especially amongst spouses or friends. Some people have a morbid fear of losing their spouses or friends to others. Some are so possessive that they cannot as much as stand having their friends or spouse say hello to others. This is wrong and it is manipulative, so you must put yourself under check if you are prone in this direction. For goodness sake, human beings have the freedom of interaction and association. You don't have the right to control anybody or impose your opinion on others, so relax and stop being overly possessive. The best you can do if you are concerned about the interactions of your friend or loved one, is to suggest, persuade or advice the person against perceived bad or evil association. There is nothing wrong with being concerned or protective of your loved one, especially when your concern is genuinely founded, or when you sense danger. But please, don't be paranoid! Some people become jealous of others because of their own feelings of self-rejection, failure or personal inadequacies.

Jealousy cuts across all human spheres. The young, old, rich and poor do experience feelings of jealousy. Spouses could get jealous of one another, siblings, born of the same parents could become envious of each other, colleagues at work could have feelings of jealousy, so also, business competitors could feel jealous about their rivals' progress, etceteras.

One sure recipe that could make you put your emotions of jealousy under control is when you have a healthy self-esteem. Furthermore, you can make a conscious effort to improve on yourself whether it be in your personal appearance, skills, expertise, knowledge or training. Also putting your trust in God gives you the grace to control your emotions. Realize that every human being on earth has a right to receive genuine blessings. God is not partial, so even when you think you deserve a breakthrough and your neighbour gets it instead, don't be disheartened. Don't let your heart sink or cut. Rather, learn to be joyful and sincerely happy for others when good things happen in their lives. When you successfully deal with jealousy and envy, you will realize that blessings will also start floating in your own direction. So next time you hear that somebody got promoted, got a distinction in an examination, won an exceptional award, got appointed into a prominent position, or even simply got married to their dream spouse, or had a brand new baby, rejoice! After you rejoice with them, go back to your closet and tell your Creator that you desire to be the next in line for His blessings. If you fail to put this emotion of jealousy under control, you will live a life of constant suspicion, fear, misery, heart-ache, heart-wreck and ultimate frustration and disease! Get rid of jealousy by confronting your fears and going to the Lord in prayer. Be happy. You deserve some laughter and joy in your life. So long..