|
WHY YOUTHS ABSCOND FROM
HOME
By Anuli Ausbeth-Ajagu (Mrs)
E-mail: auntyanuli@yahoo.co.uk
When I was younger, I wanted to become a medical
doctor; a gynecologist to be precise. But as I grew into my teens,
those dreams gave way to childhood fantasies of me becoming a
Hollywood star. Now you can just imagine how excited I felt when
I gained admission into the University of Jos to study Theatre
arts. This was in 1987, and I was really looking forward to my
four years degree programme in the northern city. Well, my father
wasn't particularly excited about the prospects because he is
a zoologist, and had always been more science inclined; so he
wanted me to study Biology at the University of Lagos. I was horrified.
Me? In the sciences? Ah! The mere thought of adapting to courses
I dreaded gave me the creeps. (To think that I ever dreamt of
becoming a medical doctor. Such is the irony of life). Matriculation
day drew nearer, and my parents were still dragging their feet
about whether I was to accept the admission or not. It was sundown
that faithful day when I scribbled what I thought was a goodbye
letter to my parents. I told them that I was frustrated and was
leaving home for good. Then I took off. I was quite apprehensive
as I trod through the familiar streets of the officers quarters
of the Nigerian Armed Forces Resettlement Centre Oshodi, where
we lived. I soon found myself walking past the tennis court, the
large football field, the mini market, military auditorium, and
was now approaching the offices. My mind was in turmoil and I
was confused, as I really had no action plan. By the time I found
myself approaching the barracks, I was tired and exhausted. I
found a corner, sat down and wept. I must have been lost in thoughts
when I heard someone call my name. `Anuli!` I was startled. It
was my mother, and she looked totally harassed and hysteric as
she alighted from her car. "Do you want to kill me?"
She questioned. "Tomorrow, you are taking the first flight
to Jos!" That was how I landed at the University of Jos.
Now don't ever consider absconding from home. My story may have
been tragic if I had gone farther than I did. The dangers of running
away from home are too numerous to mention. There is really no
where like home; being in the midst of your kith and kin; those
who really can't help but love you. So why do young people consider
running away from home? How can this phenomenon be curbed? Hear
what respondents have to say.
WHY YOUTHS RUN AWAY
FROM HOME
Craze for Freedom
Many youths run away from home in search of freedom. They want
to be free as the birds of the air, to live life the way they
wish. Some of these youths are already involved in vices such
as smoking, alcohol, drugs and prostitution; and knowing full
well that they might not get the approval of their parents for
such immoral lifestyle, they choose to abscond. Most of them end
up losing their sanity in the process, whilst some acquire HIV/AIDS,
and others die miserable deaths.
Lilian
Lack of Adequate Home Training
Youths can run away from home if they lack adequate home training.
Parents have a significant role to play in the youth's upbringing.
If the home is uncomfortable due to parental neglect, the youth
can run off to another place where he or she can feel comfortable.
Parents should face their duty squarely by instilling the right
values and discipline in their children.
Helen
Fear of punishment
Some youths leave home because they are dodging disciplinary action
from their parents. This is usually the case when the youth has
committed an offence and he or she dreads severe punishment from
the parents or guardian. I think parents need to explain to their
children and wards that discipline is a way of life, and the fact
that a child is being punished does not mean that the parents
don't love the child. However, I am not in support of brutality
in the name of discipline as I have heard of parents who maimed
their children in the process of enforcing so-called discipline.
I even know of a father whose violent slap sent his daughter into
coma and an untimely grave.
Joy
Over Strict Handedness
Many parents are simply too strict with their children. They are
paranoid and overly protective of their children thereby isolating
these children from healthy peer group or social interaction.
The children feel more or less caged-in and suffocated with rigid
rules and regulations. At the end of the day, these children feel
imprisoned and some of them go overboard and run away. Parents
need to know where to draw the line and allow their children some
breathing space, especially when there are no perceivable imminent
dangers.
Henry
Child Labour/Abuse
Because youths are most often defenseless when oppressed by elderly
ones at home, running away is often considered their best option.
Some adults put youths through undue harassment, child labour,
physical battering, and all kinds of human indignities. Under
such hard conditions, it is easy for the youths to run away. Some
of these kids wind up as area boys and vagabonds; and that is
a very worrisome trend.
Peter
Sexual Harassment
Some families are in absolute decay. There are fathers who molest
their daughters sexually, older siblings who abuse the younger
ones with incest and uncles who shamelessly abuse their wards.
Some mothers are even known to force their daughters into prostitution
whilst others subtly encourage their wards to live lecherous lifestyles.
When faced with such pressures, many a youth have had course to
run away from home.
Kalejaiye
Parents Rigidity over Career Choice
Whilst it is needful for children to be properly guided and counseled
on their career preference, I think that parents should take into
consideration, the children's talents, strengths, intellect, interests
and innate potentials. Otherwise, these children could end up
becoming frustrated, misfits, or simply run away from home when
the heat becomes unbearable. That does not mean that parents should
not advice their children about attractive career options. All
they need is patience, understanding and persuasion tactics. Prayers
will also help when such decisions appear difficult to agree upon.
Ayo
Unhealthy Family Environment
There are families where strife reigns supreme. Some parents are
always at loggerheads; quarreling and fighting in the presence
of their children. They plant the seeds of pain, misery and fear
in their children's hearts and such children start nursing the
idea of taking off from home. Mind you, there are subtle ways
children could register their discontent. For instance, when a
child never wants to stay at home for holidays, or prefers the
company of relations or friends; that could be a good signal that
home is horrors! Children feel happier and psychologically stable
when there is love, peace and harmony in the home but when the
contrary is the case, they could seek refuge and succour elsewhere.
Blessing
Poverty
Many parents are unable to provide food, shelter, healthcare and
quality education for their children and wards. When faced with
untold hardship, some youths have abandoned home in search of
livelihood. A few lucky ones could scale through the hassles of
life unscathed, whilst others drown in the pool of destruction;
ending up as area boys, armed robbers, prostitutes and outlaws.
Busayo
Rejection
When youths grapple with feelings of rejection and low self-esteem,
they become prone to running away from home. A child who feels
unloved and rejected by family could become so miserable as to
want to leave home. Youths sometimes make mistakes and it is the
parent's responsibility to correct, punish, encourage and to forgive.
Many young girls are vulnerable to rejection especially if a man,
no matter how vile or mean, comes to them with fake promises of
everlasting love. The poor girl in her state of dejection could
become so gullible and be led astray by such unscrupulous fellows.
In fact, many young ladies marry the wrong men because they married
out of frustration and desperation to get away from their family.
Ijeoma
Broken Home
Youths from broken homes, especially those sent to live with relations,
could become totally maladjusted to the point of running away.
They are often sad, lonely, miserable and emotionally unstable.
Tajudeen
Peer Pressure
Some youths abandon their homes as a result of severe pressure
from their peers. This is especially true of children who hang
around loafers, criminals and vagabonds. As the saying goes, evil
communication corrupts good manners. Parents should watch out
for the kind of company their children keep; and know when to
put down their feet against evil association.
Lilian
Misinformation on Human/Children's Rights
Some children out of ignorance could contemplate on running away
from home. Half-truths or distorted information about human and
children's rights could mislead children into misbehaving in the
name of claiming their rights. Children need to be properly educated
about the need to be respectful, responsible and law abiding at
home and in the society, whilst also recognizing their fundamental
human rights.
Oga
No Fear of God
When youths do not have the basic fear of God in them, they could
contemplate on leaving home for good. They become susceptible
to all kinds of satanic manipulations, loss of memory, insanity,
frustration, and despair. It is only when children are adequately
nurtured in the way of the Lord that they can be sensible enough
to withstand the temptation to run away from home at the slightest
excuse.
Ken
Hypnosis
It is a known fact that some children have been hypnotized by
devious fellows thereby making these young ones take off from
home without their senses intact. Youths must therefore be wary
of talking with, or following strangers; accepting food or money
from people, or going away with their friends to unspecified or
unknown destinations.
Ogogo
Insensitivity of Parents or Guardians
to Youths' Emotional Needs
Most parents bring up their children the way they were brought
up, which in most cases turns out to be harsh and mean. Some parents
take pleasure in taunting their children with information about
their unpalatable upbringing of deprivation, starvation and harassment.
Their aim is to force their children to accept such mean conditions
as natural and ideal. There is also the prideful attitude of parents
boasting to the children and telling them things like "I
gave birth to you, so you must do this and that." Well, times
are changing and children of this generation need more than cheap
threats to make them behave properly. They need your love, praise
and encouragement; understanding, empathy, affirmation and worthy
lifestyle; otherwise you could wake up one day and discover that
they have absconded from home.
Jessica
Final Word
There is no where like home. It could be happy or hellish! Parents
should make their homes as comfortable and as conducive as possible
for their children and wards so that whenever the youths go out,
they always look forward to returning home. The basic values of
love, peace, unity, understanding and harmony in families should
be rekindled and established in the society.
|
