YOUTH AND GENDER NETWORK

There is an increasing trend of young ladies dating married men in our society today. Most of these girls actually have no qualms about this unbecoming activity as they see it as a normal way of life. For some, married men hold a special attraction and even if they have a relationship with a single man, the married man must necessarily occupy a permanent place in their lives. For others, the married man is a potential suitor, as they don't mind joining his household as wife number two, three, four, or even ten. These are girls who see absolutely nothing wrong with polygamy. There is yet another group, which though already married, feel no qualms about dating another married man. They often claim that the emotional strain they feel in their own marital home is enough justification to seek succor else where, with another woman's husband.
Not only are many young ladies dating married men, some out of desperation hook these men with pregnancies so as to have a permanent tie with them. Sometimes, the man might not even be interested in a serious relationship, but because of a child forced on him, he is bound to keep the lady as a permanent mistress or perhaps brings her home as his new wife. At this point, permit me to assert that any married man worth his salt will not condescend so low as to committing adultery, worst of all, with a girl, sometimes old enough to be his grand daughter! Bitter pill to swallow? Sorry, but that's the truth. The fact that our society places little value on moral ethics or principles does not in any way justify wrongdoing. It is so easy to say that men are leaders especially at home.... as the head of their wife and whatnot. However, titles alone do not make a man. Leadership is about showing a good example, living above board and striving for excellence. Unfortunately, some of these men who should be showing the right way have lost every sense of self-respect, dignity and responsibility. They cave into their wanton lascivious cravings, yet they expect their wives to be faithful, loyal and honest. Whilst I do not by any means subscribe to women fooling around, it's about time our men, especially the guilty ones realized that their loose morals is totally inexcusable. They have brought shame and dishonour to manhood through their flagrant abuse of the youths. Any married man chasing young ladies for sensual relationship is corrupting our youths and encouraging them to be wayward, immoral, heartless and reckless. They are also making these youths vulnerable to sexually transmitted diseases, especially the dreaded HIV/AIDS. As for the young ladies, it's about time they began to place high value on themselves and shun those young married men and old sugar daddies toasting and deceiving them. There is a God-ordained partner for every woman and you don't have to play cheap because you are desperate for a relationship whether for emotional or mercenary reasons. Whether you believe it or not, admit it or not, dating a married man is wrong.
Dating a married man positions you as a home-breaker. Yes, some married men will definitely try to toast you, especially if you are a pretty or attractive young lady. Some will promise you heaven and earth, but they omit the part about hell because that is the ultimate destination. However, the onus is on you to politely or brashly decline and resist the temptation otherwise you will be laying a bad precedence for your future. By the time you are able to put your emotions under check and say No to such illicit relationship, you will clear the way for God's favour and goodness in your life. Next week, we shall examine the underlining motives for this trend. For now, Nigerian girls should be wary of toasters called married men. Bless you!

Hi. This is a follow-up to the first part of the research on why young ladies date married men. I reiterate that dating a married man is wrong and inexcusable for any young girl. Without further ado, my survey on why young ladies date married men was quite revealing as follows:

Economic Hardship
Many young ladies find themselves dating married men because of economic hardship. Many, especially those from poor homes have to resort to dating married men whom they feel have the financial power to meet their basic needs. Things are so bad for the average youth on the street that the battle against hunger is fast becoming a battle of the fittest or more aptly, the battle of the most promiscuous. Married men with means can honourably support any young girl in need without resorting to blackmailing the girls for sex. Government should also seriously tackle the monstrous high level of poverty.

Greed
There are girls whose parents are far from being poor, yet because of greed and insatiable wants, they pursue married men who have sufficient funds to transform them into so called "high class" or "society babes." These girls date married men in order to have enough money to sustain their crave for economic relevance. The love of money is the root of all evil and young ladies should ask God for the spirit of contentment rather than waste their lives on vanity. Academic Sponsorship Some girls who date married men are not exactly what you would term wild or greedy girls. However, because of poverty and inadequate finances to meet up their school obligations, they look for a married man capable of sponsoring them through school, especially the higher institution. However, these girls need to realize that the rationale behind an act does not justify it. No sugar daddy holds the keys to your blessings. Repent and ask God for wisdom. You may need to take up a part-time job even if it amounts to your taking up work as a laundress, hairdresser, artiste, typist, cook or nanny rather than cave in to an illicit relationship to solve your problem.

Laziness
Some ladies date married men because of laziness. Rich married men often have cash to play around with. Thus, these girls find the offer of cheap money very tempting. These girls are unwilling to look for legitimate jobs because the thought of getting up in the mornings to go to work does not sound appealing. They prefer to offer sex in exchange for cash, forgetting that ill-gotten wealth will soon choke the receiver. Get up and go find yourself a job!

Emotional stability
Some girls after several sour relationships with single men go all out in search of a married man who can offer emotional support. Mark my word: No married man can offer you genuine and enduring emotional stability. He will deceive you for a while and after he has had enough of you, he will go back to his wife or look for another victim whom he will use and dump.

Desperation for marriage
Some ladies desperate to settle into matrimony don't mind being wife number twenty! Yes, some do not even know their position in the man's family because his wives we too numerous to count. Some opt for this condition because they think that the man can take care of them emotionally and financially. Some say that the older men are more liberal, generous and caring. Believe me, there is nothing good in polygamy. Any woman who marries a man as wife number two should be ready to swallow the bitter pill of her husband taking on more women. Remember there is a law of karma. She should also be ready to face the high risk of contracting sexually transmitted HIV/AIDS. Polygamy and infidelity are leading causes of HIV/AIDS transmission in Africa.

Insatiable Sexual Appetite
Some young ladies who have a high libido go in search of married men who they believe are experienced in the act of copulation. These are girls who because of early sexual indulgence, grow to become sex maniacs; always in search of new adventures with the opposite sex. Such girls stand a high risk of getting infected with all kinds of diseases, coupled with getting demonically possessed by their sex partners.

Low Self esteem
Ladies who have no confidence in themselves can fall for any bait by married men who are experienced in the game of flattery. Such girls, as a result of rejection and a low self-image, tend to be gullible and vulnerable to the ploys of any available man. Some of these men who are experiencing difficulty in their homes, know precisely what the girls will fall for, and they harp on these vulnerable spots, using praise, exaggerations and outright lies to pump the girl's ego to a point where she simply finds them irresistible. Any sensible girl would realize that the man is sham, and nothing but an opportunist. She should tell him to take his deception elsewhere.

Crave for Vengeance and Sadistic Trait
There are ladies who have been emotionally hurt, and as a result, become bitter and resentful with life. They make up their minds to deal with any woman that crosses their path by going out of their way to seduce the husbands of such women into a liaison. Some others detest their single status, especially if most of their friends are married. The sadistic instinct in them pushes them to cause havoc in people's marriages. Other reasons why young ladies date married men include spiritual bondage, frustration, lack of fear of God, amongst others.

Final word If you find yourself in an unwholesome relationship with a married man, take the bold step to break it now! Ask God to forgive you and give you grace to overcome. Finally, our government should bring to book all those men who lure our youths into illicit relationships. These leaders should start by awakening their own conscience and stop abusing our youths sexually. People need to repent and genuinely turn to God.